Friday Fictioneers: Valentine
For Friday Fictioneers, Madison Woods‘ 100-word picture prompt challenge.
My lungs grew to accommodate you,
my chest no more a dry whisper
Your toes like berries for me to pluck and swallow
the redness of your tongue
is the only youth I crave anymore.
I hide in the canopy of your arms
seeking shelter from a made-up wilderness.
I trace the bumps of your back
and taste the curve of your inner ear.
(do you nurture her, the way you do me?)
A foreign mark, an alien smell
I should have sensed
that you were no longer pure.
At the market I saw you two holding hands,
I could feel the parts of you in me
- rotting, growing sour, shedding brightness -
and when you came home
dark and jovial as always
I could feel my insides explode
and I lie next to you in bed
out of my pores come leaking
the things I no longer need.
Ooo, that’s lovely, and an interesting take on the prompt. I especially like the last two lines. http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/06/29/friday-fictioneers-8/
Ooh, this gave me goosebumps. Great job! Thanks for commenting on mine.
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/06/forgiveness.html
Dear Raina,
Am I confused or just stupid…or both? (I’ve got to go back in time and figure out how I screwed up.) The poem that you wrote is beautiful. All I can and should say.
Aloha,
Doug
Oh Doug, this is Al’s poem.
It is beautiful isn’t it? You didn’t screw up.
beautiful — sometimes you come across something with just the right cadence, just the right spacing between the words, and just the right meaning — and all you can do is enjoy and wish you could write as well.
bw
So much wonderful imagery and perspective in here, “Canopy of your arms” is sticking in my mind like a raspberry thorn!
Our link is here http://www.lazuli-portals.com/flash-fiction/fight-or-flight or in the Link Box.
Really dramatic, and great imagery.
Nice one. http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/forbidden-friday-fictioneers-june-2012/
Beautiful
Beautifully powerful and evocative. Well done. Mine is here and linked as well: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/fridayfictioneers-seduction/
Well crafted and insightful. Emotional. Great work!
http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/telestial-by-ilyan-kei-lavanway-for-madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-100-word-flash-fiction
Wow! very powerful and excellent use of language. I think every woman has experience with what you express.
Mine is here: http://wp.me/p1Wqon-bl
Al, this is exquisite. It grabbed my heart and senses, memories of love and betrayal. You are a very talented poet!
Love the last four lines in particular! Great take on the photograph!
So painful. So frequent. So sad. I’m on the list.
Beautiful, truly beautiful. It’s also great how the berries are a metaphor not an actual object in it. This is my favourite so far.
Lovely! Love, passion, trust, betrayal all powerful emotions beautifully put into words.
Wow… I agree with the above and the last line just sucked the breath out of me. Whew!
Such is what happens when the reality of betrayal kicks in to a relationship – beautifully observed and taking us through the whole process in such a succinct and erudite way