she and The Sea

Stormy Sea by Liza Hirst -

I stand at the sea’s front.

Wrap my red woolen sweater tightly around myself and nestle in it.

I close my eyes and take in the smell the sea. I offer her my dreams and confide in her my fears, and abandon my regrets.

“Let go,” she commands quietly, and I obey.

I dig my toes into the sand. I feel the tiny sand grains on my skin and wiggle my toes further in.

“Come,” she says.

I unwrap my sweater.

Undo my hairband.

I slide off my blouse, then my camisole. I unbutton my pants. Take them off. I slip off my panty and am completely barren to her.

I get wet even though there was no man in sight. I ran my fingers through my hair. There was a soft zephyr and it kissed my skin. She kept on calling to me, a gentle instruction in her voice.

I walked towards her slowly.

I dipped my feet in, and looked at her. It was as if she had her arms wide open, ready to hold me.

I walked in further and goosebumps broke across my skin, and I trembled slightly, maybe partly from the eagerness, and partly from the anticipation.

I ventured further in.

She kissed my skin, every inch while caressing me everywhere else. She slid her tongue into me and kissed me. I waded in further and her kisses trailed up my stomach to my nipples and I dove further in. Eyes closed, I wanted her to want me. Her reach traveled up my neck and to my lips.

My palms touched her surface and I stood there trembling at the complete surrender I was about to give unto her.

I walked in further and gave myself to her. All of her.

I let go of everything and surrendered to her will. I kept my eyes open at first and tried to see her realm, completely take in her beauty.  I swam into her, wanting to give her more and more of me.

Until finally, my legs and arms were tired and I could see nothing but her.

And then I let go. And she took over me. And, finally, I was. Or rather, I am. Nothing behind. Nothing in front. Just am. Is. When finally consumed, I was everything even after disappearing.